12. Enjoy Cafe Rio and Don't Dwell on Chipotle (narrative)

          Tears started streaming down my cheeks as I buried my face into their shoulders for the last time. I knew this day was coming, but as cliché as it sounds, I can’t believe it came so fast. As soon as I gave them my last goodbyes, I ran up the stairs to my dorm room and new home. I couldn’t stand to look at them any longer; parting was a lot harder that I thought it would be. August  28^th 2013 was the day I said goodbye to my parents and started my new chapter here at BYU.

            I’ve lived in New Jersey my whole life. All my friends resided there, and the majority of my family lived close by. Sea Isle beach was an hour away, New York (The Big Apple) was two hours away, Philly (The City of Brotherly Love) was ten minutes away, and my favorite fast food restaurant, Chipotle, was only a five minute drive. I couldn’t ask for anything more, yet I knew that I had to go and start this new adventure. I have always wanted to move to Provo and attend my dream school. I imagined having tons of friends, acing all my classes, being surrounded by lots of LDS kids who share my standards, and going on plenty of dates. Though, after I said goodbye to my Chihuahua named Lucky, extended family, friends, and a guy who made my heart skip a beat, I realized how this change would not occur as blissfully as I thought.

I ran up the stairs covering my puffy face and collapsed onto my bed, where I cried for a solid hour. My parents were on their way to the airport at this very second. Then it hit me, these two people who have raised me and have been there for me the last eighteen years will soon be two thousand miles away.

“Hey! You’re here! So happy I finally get to meet you!” my roommate Michelle said as she walked into the door.

“Yea. Same here.” I choked out. I was still an emotional wreck, and the thought of interacting with people just didn’t seem appealing. Especially this stranger who already left a bad impression by how obnoxiously friendly she was.

            Months have passed, and it was already November. By this time, my roommate and I have grown close, but I still didn’t feel happy and at ease. A lot of nights, I curled up into fetal position with my knees tucked in as I silently cried myself to sleep, in hopes that Michelle wouldn’t hear. I remembered how easy it was to fall asleep when I could hear the soft snores of little Lucky who was cuddled up against my chest every night. I called my friends and parents everyday, because just the sounds of their voices helped cure my homesickness. I was going through the motions, living life day by day. I woke up, got ready, went to class, studied, ate, came home, reminisced about a happier time, and slept. It took too much effort to befriend new people, all the guys that took interest in me were peculiar, and the curriculum challenged me on a whole other level. I was stressed, and all the sudden changes destroyed the comfortable, happy life I once had. Then one day, the thought of Café Rio brought a smile to my face. 

            It was a dreaded Monday. I hate Mondays. Who doesn’t? On the bright side, I only had two classes. I got up at seven, so I could get ready for my eight a.m. class. I walked all the way to the CB from Helaman Halls and sat in my seat. I looked around, only to see two other people in the classroom when class started in exactly two minutes. I checked my email to find out that class was cancelled today! What the heck? I totally could’ve slept in! Well, my next class wasn’t till one, so obviously, I was going to go back home and sleep for a bit. As I was walking back home, I felt a weird tug as my backpack went over my head and knocked me down completely. How did this happen? I was walking at a normal pace, and there was no physical contact with another person, but it felt like some powerful force completely threw me off balance. I didn’t just trip or stumble, my hands and knees were on the ground, and my face was inches away from the concrete. Thank goodness my earphones were in to block out all the laughs and giggles that occurred at Brigham Square.

“Shoot,” I muttered to myself. Except, I used a word that wasn’t BYU appropriate.

“Are you okay?” a girl asked as she came over to help me up.

“Yea. I’m fine,” I said as I quickly picked myself up, trying not to cause a scene.

“Your foot is bleeding!”

“Oh, it’s no problem. I’m heading home anyway,” I said as I looked down at my foot to see my big toe completely ripped open and gushing blood.

            I hobbled home leaving a trail of red gore behind me. When I got to my dorm, my flip flop and foot was completely coated in blood. “Great, this has got to be the best Monday ever!” I sarcastically exclaimed to myself. I went to the bathroom and cleaned my foot up and bandaged my big toe that looked like it went through a paper shredder. I curled up in bed and thought about this splendid Monday. I got up early and walked across campus for a cancelled class, then somehow managed to fall and bust my big toe on the way home. As I laid there, I decided that I did not want to go to my one o’clock Book of Mormon class. It was actually my favorite class, and I always felt spiritually fed and uplifted every time I went. I knew I had to go, but after such a rough morning, all I wanted was to just lay in bed and feel sorry for myself.

            I continued laying in bed, then got up to get ready, but found myself under the covers again. I tossed and turned, but there was a nagging sensation that filled my body and literally pulled me out of bed. I looked into the mirror to see a face I didn’t recognize. She was a mess, and she did not look like the cheerful girl who use to embrace life and everyone around her. I tossed my hair up into the sloppiest bun and thought to myself, “Well this is as good as it’s going to get.” I walked out of my dorm and hobbled to class with my wrapped up toe still aching in pain. I arrived to the Benson building, and class was already starting, so I sat all the way in the back, instead of my usual front row seat.

“When going through our mortal life on earth, Satan will do anything and everything in his power to keep us from progressing. The trials we face are made for us, although they seem overbearing, the Lord knows we can handle them. A positive attitude helps us to be happier and more grateful when facing challenges. We need to go through these inconvenient experiences in order to grow. Success and growth occur when we step out of our comfort zone.” As soon as Brother Griffin was done preaching to us, I just sat in my chair with uncontrollable tears flowing down my face, letting his message sink into my heart and reside with me. This was exactly what I needed to hear to get me through the rest of the semester and life in general!

            On my way home from class, I couldn’t stop smiling. Life was beautiful and great! Later that night, as I was in bed getting ready to fall asleep, I thought about the positive points instead of dwelling on the negative events: I was fortunate to wake up and be alive, I was able to take a nice two hour nap, and I listened to the prompting to go to class. That was the first night that I didn’t shed a single tear. I stopped calling friends from home and took advantage of the opportunities I had here to meet new people. I admired the gorgeous mountains every morning on my way to class and enjoyed the setting sun on my way home. I finally stopped complaining about the lack of Chipotle and basked in the tastiness known as Café Rio.

11. And in that Moment...

          "Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it's okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite." Guess what book this line is from?

          I'm not going to spoil the book for you, but I will state that at the end of this book, Charlie overcomes his troubling past, lives in the present, and looks forward to the future.
          Truly living in the present is rare. It can be difficult to soak in emotions and feelings of current situations. Imagine a day trip to New York City. Naturally, you are going to want to take tons of pictures of every building, art piece, and sewer rat you see. Which picture should you post on instagram that will get the most likes? These may be the thoughts that are running through your mind when experiencing the wonders of a big city. SHUT THESE THOUGHTS OFF. Embrace and soak in the beauty of your surroundings. I know we want to capture these memories and make them last forever,  but this can distract you from living in the moment. Even if the feelings you have are of despair and discomfort, embrace it. Remember, it's okay to feel.

10. T-Giving in Apt. 222

          Remember that chick from South Africa named Janine? Well as you know, we are here together as roomies at BYU! I have the great opportunity of seeing her gorgeous face every. single. day. Not only that, but since we are both from the east coast, we got to spend our thanksgiving together here in Provo. We both decided that we would much rather cook up our own feast in the comfort of our apartment than go somewhere else. Later that day, my cousin skyped me, and I got to see my whole family gathered in my house eating my favorite dishes...without me. I smiled and laughed, but as soon as I hung up, I started tearing up. I wanted nothing more than to be home. I snapped out of this funk and remembered to hang in there, because only THREE more weeks till I'm home.

          I am so grateful to be able to go home for Christmas, but most importantly, I am grateful for a best friend who made this thanksgiving so enjoyable when I couldn't be home. I consider Janine a sister, so in a way, I did get to spend my turkey break with family. As soon as classes ended on Tuesday, we brought our mattresses into the living room where it was a sleepover every night. We watched endless movies and shows on netflix, pigged out, went hot tubbing, and out shopping. I could not have asked for anything more. It was a perfect, relaxing vacation that we both needed before the ruckus of finals. 

9. Long Distance Ain't Easy

          In my previous post, I mentioned one of my best friends Janine who I met at EFY four years ago. She lived in North Carolina, I lived in New Jersey, and we only got to see each other for one week every summer, yet we still managed to maintain a long distance relationship throughout the years. Our success story should be used to advertise EFY.

Summer 2010:
          It was my first year at EFY, and my parents literally had to drag me to the car and buckle me in for the six hour drive to Buena Vista, Virginia. I had no idea what to expect, and I didn't know anyone else who was going, so naturally, I wanted to throw myself out of the moving car. When I got there, I met my roommate who was an interesting individual and my company, which had ZERO cute boys. This is going to be the best week ever...I sarcastically thought to myself. We went around the room and introduced ourselves. This tiny blonde introduced herself as Janine, except the J sounds like a Y, so it's pronounced Yanine. Janine was originally from South Africa, but moved to America with her family when she was three. It was the second day when we sat next to each other for the morning devotional, and we just clicked. Throughout the week, we were inseparable. We came to the conclusion that we were sisters separated at birth. Saying goodbye was not easy, but we kept in touch until our second summer at EFY.

Summer 2011:
          I was way excited for EFY this time around, because I FINALLY got to reunite with my long distance best friend and have the opportunity to be her roommate! The minute she walked into the dorm, we embraced for a solid five minutes and picked up right where we left off. The week flew by, and we were saying goodbye again until next summer.

Summer 2012:
          Instead of going to EFY, Janine came up to New Jersey to stay with me. We picked her up at the Baltimore airport and made the most of our time together. We went to the D.C. temple, Six Flags, New York City, Philadelphia, and Ocean City all within a week. We were so exhausted, but we couldn't waste one second on sleep! We stayed up talking and jammed out during long car rides instead of napping. I was an emotional disaster dropping her off at the airport, and cried the whole way home. ONE MORE YEAR till we could be together again, but phone dates would suffice until then.

Summer 2013:
          By this time, I already graduated high school, and Janine only had one more year left. Our last year at EFY totally tanked, but we were together at the exact place where our friendship started. We were roommates again, and we spent late nights talking about our future together like lovestruck teenagers in a serious relationship. I was heading off to BYU, and that's where Janine wanted to go as well. We talked about rooming together in college and being able to spend longer than a week together! The thought alone made me so happy and excited for that day to come! When we said goodbye at the end of the week, we knew this was the last time we'd have to say goodbye for a WHOLE year. The next time we saw each other, it would be for good. I no longer had to survive off of three hour phone calls each week, because I'd get to see her everyday.

8. How Much Can Change in a Year

          Wait...is my third semester at BYU almost over? Apparently, time really does fly when you're having fun...or when you're too busy to even bother keeping track of what day it is. College is a whirlwind, but I'm so grateful that this year has already been ten times better than my freshman year. Last year, I lived in Helaman Halls with a roommate I got along with, but who wasn't exactly my best friend. Obviously, I loved her, but there were so many incidents where she made adjusting to the change a lot harder. Now as a sophomore, I get to live off campus with a kitchen, my own room, a living room, and a laundry room! I also get to room with one of my best friends I met four years ago at EFY, in addition to two other roommates I love dearly! School is stressful enough, and luckily, I've been blessed with amazing roommates who make my time here even more enjoyable. Every time I pray, I make sure to express my gratitude to Heavenly Father for putting these amazing girls in my life.
       

          This year is also a million times better, because I finally decided on what I wanted to focus my studies on! I was set on studying business, until I realized how much I hated it. I didn't love or even like the prerequisites, other than marketing. They were difficult, and I dreaded going to class and sitting through boring lectures. Even though it brings in good money, it's not something I'm passionate about whatsoever. SO I've decided on studying communications, because SURPRISE, it's a department I thoroughly enjoy learning about. Hopefully this goes well...

7. All I Want for Christmas is....

          Sometimes it's the little things that put the biggest smile on your face. Yesterday morning when my roomies and I were driving home from conference at the Marriott Center, my roommate Alexis asks, "Are we allowed to listen to Christmas music yet?" My other roommate Carly answers back saying, "Um yea! it's past November 1st!" Before she even gets this sentence out, Alexis had already changed the music on the radio. Guess which Christmas classic she put on first? Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." Maybe this isn't your traditional Christmas song, but it is a jam. I'm pretty sure every single person in the world has jammed to this upbeat tune at least once in their life. Listening to this song and other Christmas classics puts me in the best mood ever. I even started tearing up in the car while I thought about all my past Christmases, and how I couldn't wait for this upcoming Christmas!

       
          Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love being with my whole family. I love the food. I love remembering the Savior. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT CHRISTMAS. Being away from home has made Christmas even ten times more exciting and special. After four months of being away from all my friends and family, I finally get to go home and celebrate such a wonderful, joyful holiday with the people I love. I remember my past Christmases so vividly. Every Christmas was always a great experience, except the one year when I was a junior in high school. My boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas Eve, over the phone (picture below is a lovely candid of this event.) HAHA classic. BUT I didn't even care, because I was out exploring New York City with my cousins! Nothing, especially an irrelevant, teen boy with a bad combover, could ruin my holiday spirit. Obviously, it was still a great Christmas.
   

           One more month till I'm home for the greatest holiday of the year, and I could not be more excited. Hearing Christmas music puts me in the greatest mood ever, whether I'm listening to Michael Buble, Mariah Carey, or the Mormon Tabernacle! I will listen to any and all Christmas music. As my roommates and I belted every note to Mariah Carey's hit, we joked about all the guys we wanted wrapped up in glitter ribbons, waiting under our tree for Christmas. But honestly, all I could think about was just the simple joy of being home for Christmas. I mean yea, it would be nice to have this one guy with the big glasses, chiseled jaw, and gorgeous smile, but NO. I just want it to be December 18th. I want to be boarding my flight home, landing in the Philadelphia airport, and running straight to the open arms of my parents. I want to laugh and surround myself with family I haven't seen in so long. I want to walk through New York City and admire all the bright lights. I want to drink hot chocolate and reread conference talks with my parents. I want to snuggle and give my dog tons of kisses. I want to hang out with friends and reminisce about memories that seem so distant. I want to stroll the cold, empty beaches. I want to be home, and that's the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for.

6. Reflection of the Research Paper

          It's finally over! All the questions, research, and editing of this ten paged paper is done. The topic I chose was the assimilation and acculturation of cultures when coming to America, most specifically the Filipino culture. This was not my original topic. I went through several ideas until I realized that the Filipino culture plays a huge role in my life, and it was an easier topic to write about since I already knew a good amount of information. Growing up, I have always been super close to my mom's side of the family and adapted many Filipino customs and traits at such a young age. This increased my desire to learn more about culture in general, and how immigrants deal with the clash of two completely different lifestyles.

          The process of completing this paper started with questions. What is different about my family background, and how can I turn this question into a topic for my research paper. Once I picked a question, I did research! I researched all the possible answers for the question I had. The question then became a thesis, and I used all my resources to write a paper about possible outcomes to my initial question. After my rough draft was formed, I got it proofread by a few people before finishing the final product.


          Researching was probably the hardest part of this process. Finding reliable sources that fit my topic was difficult for me. Yes, there are so many sources out there, but I was picky when it came to selecting which ones would support the theme of my paper. Of course, procrastination was kind of a problem. I waited till the last two days to finish up, which did not leave me enough time to get it proofread by multiple people. I also wish I did a better job at organizing my thoughts before I started the paper. A clear idea and plan of execution would have made it easier on myself when completing this paper. Although, it was rough, I did enjoy reading more about the Filipino culture, and other cultures that had to go through the same process of immigrating to America. Sociology is fascinating to me, I enjoy learning about cultures and how they assimilate or acculturate when placed in a new environment. Overall, it was an enjoyable topic, but the research was not as fun.